Chapter 2

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Unable to turn my gaze away
Like a fool, I could only lose myself in you
I want to walk together with you for a lifetime
I will protect you, I love you, oh love
Nuneul ddelsu jocha eobseo
geujeo babocheoreom nege bbajo deuleoga
pyeongsaengeul hamkeh balmachueo naga
naega jikyeojulke saranghaeyo oh love

I followed him out of the studio and ran into the sunlight. Boy was it bright outside; it sure was different compared to the dim lights that lit the gym inside. Shielding my eyes from the bright light, I proceeded to get pulled by an altogether hyper Donghae who was obviously really excited to be out and free again like a normal person.

I loved supporting him. He was like a goldfish, kept in his tank that he loved so much, working hard to make his surroundings better and was admired by those who saw him. No wonder why his nickname was 'Fishie.'  It was ironic how this nickname that the fans invented for him after he announced himself the 'fish of Donghae (the fish of the East Sea)' originated from a childhood memory of mine.

I loved Fishie; it was a figurative phrase here but I think you could understand how I felt.  I was 8 years his junior but I still really loved him. It all started since I was eight years old and I decided that one day, I was going to marry him. But I was too shy even when I was younger and never bothered saying that. I guess I missed my chance to speak up now that I think back at it. What did I have to lose when I was a kid? I should have just said it so at least he would have known and laughed and give me a childish promise that he hoped I would forget as I grew up… …

Donghae gripped my hand and exclaimed while pointing at the very thing that had captured his attention. "Waoh, the amusement park's open today!" Sure enough, there was this small time business who had organized some sort of road side amusement park. It even had the Ferris wheel and a few choice rides to top it off. He was nodding to me, his wavy dark brown hair bouncing along to match his vigor. "Let's go there and get ice cream."

Odd request coming from him out of the blue just like that but it was a fairly heated day so I decided to comply and agreed with his decision. "Sure." It wasn't like I had a chance; my alternative choice was to go walk at the mall. I had wanted to go shopping with him but it seemed kind of boring, even to me. Donghae had a small habit for not saying what he really wanted but instead, reworded it into a different but odd request. This seemed to be one of them; did he just want to go play? Then why hadn't he said so?

I shrugged off the thought and allowed myself to be pulled into that small childish park. There were those stands where you threw something at cans, bottles and other various targets and others portrayed a different challenge like scoring basketball goals in a certain time period to gain prizes or the classic Hit with All Your Might meter. Then there were food stands and ice cream trucks parked at various locations around the park.

Donghae bobbed his head to the music blaring out of the speakers while encouraging me to dance. I gave him a non committal glance and couldn't help but smile when he started dancing around me. I could tell that he was enjoying this moment but was a little shy about doing it in front of me at the same time. His face was almost enticing me to join him in his little jig but I could only laugh embarrassed and refused to do it. I was too shy so I stayed rooted at my spot, frozen in an icy smile. My face was probably all red too.

"Come on Sang-Min! No need to be so mature!" he said, pulling my arm and doing a sort of one sided dance together with me. I clung to my bag, wishing that I had brought a backpack instead of a shoulder bag because it was so irritating, swinging back and forth and banging against my hip as Donghae swung ME back and forth.  "Donghae! 막다! 막다!" I said, causing him to let go and stop, grinning like a happy child. "I'm sorry, I'm a little bit excited," he said, panting a bit. "But still, the best thing is that we'll get to hang out today!"

My heart skipped a beat; was he thinking the same thing as me?

"Come on 오빠, let's get going before work spoils your fun." I pulled him along and spent the afternoon with him in that little park, going on rides together like the Spinning Cups and the Merry Go Round. It was such a fun day that I hadn't noticed time go by so fast. Finally, there was a day where I could spend time with Donghae alone. We walked around in the park after the fun, hand in hand.  I missed the times when I was younger and he would volunteer to take me everywhere.

I hadn't realized that I missed him so much; not till now.

Why hadn't I noticed?